In the eye of the beholder 


It’s in the eye of the beholder an old saying, cliche and a truth. This morning I walked into the local bookstore. An older man very graciously held the door open for me and said go ahead young man. I felt my heart sink as I went back to my middle school days. Puberty hit me hard-I quickly grew taller than my classmates, my voice deepened and for a long time people who did not know me thought I was a male. I remember a substitute teacher calling on me to read a passage in a book. He said would the young man in the back read the next paragraph. And what followed was laughter by my classmates and two boys who quickly said she’s a girl. I wanted to hide under my desk and the teacher was embarrassed. I dealt with people mistaking me for a male until college. 

I have never been stereotypical feminine or what society says a woman should be. I have broad shoulders-I always had to special order horse show jackets because of this. I have a deeper voice than most women. I have been told I walk like a man and need to carry a purse rather than just the small wallet I have in a back pocket. I hated dolls and barbies as a child-books were my friends. I have been told I am a spitting image of my dad. I take pride in that. Dad always encouraged me to read and write. It is where I escaped and learned. For years I did not post photos of myself on Facebook. I am not a size 6-12. I am a plus size person and through much trials of life and learning to be happy by myself I found myself. I decided I was not going to settle for anyone or anything. 

I found myself sad for a moment this morning when the man mistook me for a man but quickly recovered. I often feel for the other person who then feels embarrassed that they thought I was a man. I believe that given the struggle with how people perceive me has made me more sensitive to others, more accepting of differences and made me a much more creative person than I may have been. Just as things are in the eyes of the beholder I enjoy bringing my perspective to others with writing and photography.

Advertisements

5 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Jane McMillen
    Sep 18, 2016 @ 22:47:50

    Your pictures are just beautiful…and it is good to not be stereotypical and be uniquely you!! Hang in there! jane

    Reply

  2. nancy como
    Sep 18, 2016 @ 23:39:30

    You’re not alone, my daughter is 5’10 1/2 ” and occasionally also mistaken for a guy. It is embarrassing and painful but one must move on.

    Sent from my iPad

    >

    Reply

  3. Alli Farkas
    Sep 19, 2016 @ 18:10:18

    Hmph… you have always looked to me just like a big healthy country girl. If folks don’t know what that looks like, they should leave the city for a while!

    Reply

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Life With Horace

poetry & essays

Rising Over the Smoke

Cleanse ye your eyes, so that ye behold no man 
as different from yourselves.... 
See ye no strangers; rather see all men as friends, 
 
for love and unity come hard 
 when ye fix your gaze on otherness. ~Baha'i

Not Ready for AARP

Experiences of a woman and mom over 50

Penguin for Peace

choosing a peaceful heart

Quarry House

Poetry. Photography. Thoughts

Donkey Whisperer Farm Blog

"Horses Dream Of Being Trained The Way A Donkey Demands To Be Trained" Melody Johnson

From My Window

The world as I view it

southfortyrocks

The crazy adventures of South Forty Farms - The Family, The Horses, and the Friends

Inspirational Quotes | Motivational Blog | Images | Pictures

Quotes For Kids | Success Quotes | Bob Marley Quotes

Top 10 of Anything and Everything!!!

Animals, Gift Ideas, Travel, Books, Recycling Ideas and Many, Many More

Jumbled Writer - Charlie Dims

A place for art, discussion, and everything else interesting

Dressage Different

Bonnie Walker

Alli Farkas Artist Adventures

A little chronicle of an artist's meanderings on the road to sustainability in an artistic life (read: make some money from art!)

Wayne Hale's Blog

space > exploration > leadership

The Baggage Handler

I made the impossible easy in both worlds!

Steve McCurry's Blog

Steve's body of work spans conflicts, vanishing cultures, ancient traditions and contemporary culture alike - yet always retains the human element. www.stevemccurry.com

Eye-Dancers

A site devoted to the Young Adult sci-fi/fantasy novel The Eye-Dancers

artattackunlimited

Promoting the "green art" movement and self exploration

Everything Eventing

Over-analysis of my life with horses

Trot and Canter Blog.

The love of all things equine.

en quête de saveur

a flavor quest

velvetmedia

Just another WordPress.com site

korizzoinc

Eventing, foxhunting, art, photography and more...

GYA today

Give Yourself Away

notsofancynancy

How the hell did I get here?

Ray Ferrer - Emotion on Canvas

** OFFICIAL Site of Artist Ray Ferrer **

Seasonsgirl

For seasons of life, the changing seasons, and the seasoning we all love to cook with.

Places Unknown

Dmitrii Lezine's Places Unknown is fine art and travel photography from around the world. Enjoy!

Shiny art for you

Just another WordPress.com weblog

jenwritesthings

Because sometimes stories need a place to live.

HowellingattheMoon

Just another WordPress.com site

Mary Muncil ♡ White Feather Farm

a place to come to be reminded of who you really are: Divine, magnificent, Love

%d bloggers like this: