A Lost Relative? & Hindsight is 20/20





While reading the local newspaper on Friday I was surprised to see someone who shared my great aunt’s name in the obituaries. First, being that the last name is fairly unusual and second that I wasn’t aware I had a relative the next town over. I texted two of my cousins to see if they could ask their dads if it may be a relation. I called my Mom to ask her but as it was a name on my Dad’s side of the family and Dad will have been deceased now nineteen years she wasn’t one hundred percent sure it was a relative but she did not think so. One of my cousins suggested I call an aunt who may know. The hunt was on for me.

My parents were both born in Maryland as was I but I was raised in Massachusetts. Both sets of grandparents lived in Baltimore as did my parents, many aunts, uncles and cousins. Growing up and finding out more of my families history I discovered that my maternal grandmother was raised here on the shore and my great great grandfather built boats for fishing on the bay. I’ve been able to locate the names of his boats but none survive to this day. I also found when I moved here after college that my some of my fathers side of the family also had been raised on the shore. A distant relative of my dad’s sent info of the different cemeteries that family members were in. Some of the locations I was familiar with but others like so many cemeteries of old are on private property or are family plots of two or three graves you really have to know where to look.

I called my aunt tonight and had a lovely chat with her. She believes this woman may have been related by marriage but wasn’t familiar with the names listed in the obituary. It was nice to talk with her and to hear someone speak of my dad. She grew up with my dad. Sometimes people don’t like to speak of relatives who are gone but I still miss my dad even though it has been so many years since he has been here. I enjoy when people share their memories of my dad and my grandparents. I often wonder what my dad would think of my life, my pet sitting business, being a supervisor at my other job and this blog. I think he would like the blog. He always wanted me to write I just don’t think he would have imagined it in this medium. I am looking forward to seeing my aunt. I hope to see her in a few weeks.

I took all the pictures while walking through town last week with Cooper the lab. The top picture is in the center of my town. It is of an inn and a church in the distance. The next picture is the silos in town. The third picture is looking up one of the main streets in town though we don’t have a street named “Main.” The bottom picture is taken along on of the alleys where an old rail line used to run. I liked the view of the home as we walked away towards where Cooper lived.

One thing I learned from this experience of looking to see if this was a relative is how in part of my grieving and coping the death of my dad all those years ago I realized I had inadvertently shut out parts of my family that would have provided a connection I had sought but had not realized. Hindsight is twenty twenty.


6 Comments (+add yours?)

  1. Writer Jobs
    Jan 14, 2013 @ 08:42:36

    That was an excellent post today. Thanks so much for sharing it. I
    really enjoyed reading it very much. You have a wonderful day!

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  2. Penni
    Jan 15, 2013 @ 00:00:47

    Keep us updated if you find out if that was a relative for sure! I am looking for my twin sister, I found out at age 50 that I had one! I found the rest of my bio family and have enjoyed getting to know them. I will be meeting my older sister when we come back East next spring! I spent many hours researching and looking and I learned so many interesting things about the family! Good luck looking into yours!


    • becca's event horizon
      Jan 15, 2013 @ 05:03:01

      Wow that must have been an incredible discovery for you. I can’t begin to imagine finding out one has a twin. I am happy all is working out for you with researching and meeting your family. My aunt wants to share pictures with me. And we have an extensive genealogy room to explore in my local library that just reopened after renovations so I may check that out. I’ll let you know. And best of luck with meeting your sibling. I envision much happiness.


      • Penni
        Jan 16, 2013 @ 00:38:38

        Thanks, Becca! I so hope I do find her some day, I’ll keep the vision of much happiness!

  3. justajayke
    Jan 18, 2013 @ 20:45:35

    Must be the season for it. I wanted to share with you an experience of mine. I took my partner to the cemetary you and I recently visited as being from California he has not had the oportunity to see the Canada Goose we have. On the way out of the cemetary we passed some graves hidden by some old bushes. I saw an American flag that was placed on a grave that had fallen down. I’m not one to let Old Glory just lay about like that so I walked over to put it back up. Much to my surprise the grave the flag was posted on was none other than my great Uncle Francis. I had no idea that he was buried there. I only attended his viewing. Though he was married into our family (my father’s mother’s brother-in-law) he was always very kind, gentle, and caring. On the night my grandmother died he was the only one who offered me his sholder to cry on as I was on the outs with my father’s family. I’ll never forget his kindness to a lost teenager.


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