An Open Heart & Beautiful Souls

          

How time marches forward. I gave myself time to grieve over the ending of mine and NYC relationship. I miss him but am moving on. I decided I was not going to let the experience dull my desire to be with someone on my terms. I got on two online dating sites and after many conversations and exchanges I am hoping to meet in person a new man in my life next week. He only lives an hour from me. I’ve been enjoying getting to know him. I’m hopeful things will work so stay tuned. 

I got the results of my blood draw and was told my vitamin d level was very low and explained my lack of energy. Otherwise the rest of the results are marvelous and again the doctor seems surprised that I am so healthy despite being overweight according to the bmi index. I’m one of those fit but fat people you may have heard of. I was surprised when people named the most beautiful woman of the year I did not make the cover but alas skinny always wins. It has taken me forty five years to be comfortable with every aspect of me and I intend to enjoy myself. I think people forget to see the beauty of a person’s soul they only see what is on the outside. 

For the photos I’ve chosen. The first was the sheep heading back out to pasture after evening feeding. The second was a curious lamb. Reflections in the pond and a petunia. Finally flowers from my boss in appreciation for my work. Wow was I surprised.

I’m hopping to write more once the vitamin d kicks in. Have a great Thursday! And don’t forget to keep getting back up with an open heart after life kicks you down. It can make all the difference. Namaste 

Reflections, Being Taken Seriously and Spring

          

I try to look for the good in everything and everybody. I’m no Pollyanna but I don’t feel life is all doom and gloom. With that being said life has been fairly challenging financially, emotionally and mentally. I’m still struggling to adjust to my new bosses at my night job. The company I work for changes management every other year or so, some years go smoothly others not so much. Usually I roll with the punches and keep going. This is my ninth management change in eighteen years and this one has been hardest on me. I have had more responsibilty put on me. My boss’s style of managing is not one I’m used to but I’ll have to adjust. I am amused by those who feel the need to kiss ass to feel important with the new boss. I learned long ago I cannot kiss someone’s butt for my job it may have cost me professionally but my morals and ethics are intact.

Pet sitting has been busy. Lots of dogs to walk, cats to care for insulin to be given to cats and dogs, lambing, people calling almost begging me to be added to my client list. I find that most surprising as I think of myself as under the radar but apparently I’m not. The only advertising I do is my website and word of mouth. I’m very selective in who I take on. I do not care for high maintenance people or pets. And I keep my list smaller than others to give the pets the best care I can. I have a firm policy of not watching puppies, kittens, foals or calves. The only babies I care for are lambs and chicks. I find it amusing how people perceive pet sitting-some think it’s a quaint side job, others think it’s a hustle. My boss at the farm almost fell over when I told him I have a BS in Animal Science. I take my job seriously and am always trying to learn more about caring for dogs, cats, lambs, chickens and horses. I have had a lot of people calling me for house sitting and home checks next winter as three of my house sitting clients had neighbors whose pipes froze and broke during this past winter due to no one checking in on the homes on a regular basis. I was able to catch a pipe issue before it caused damage. I love being able to sort of make my own schedule with pet sitting and enjoy my hours and all the pets I care for. I just wish people would take what I do seriously and not as a side hustle. 

I still have not heard anything from NYC and am slowly moving on. It has been hard. At this point I hope he is ok and I hold no ill will against him. I just don’t understand what happened and perhaps that is my lesson to learn from this. Not everything has answer and that’s ok. 

I’m looking forward to some time off this week to regroup and reassess where I am. I’m hoping to head to Assateague island on Wednesday. Hoping to see the ponies!

Ok now for the photos.. The first one I took at the farm last night from the side view mirror of my car. I loved it. The next two are flowers of course, one a cherry or apple tree I can never remember and forsythia. My favorite roosters feathers close up. And I loved the way the ewe and lamb are looking at me. The lamb was not hers but I thought they were cute together. 

I hope life is going well for you and I hope to be out of my funk soon. Happy spring everyone!

Spring Showers with Flowers

          

Some spring color in spite of all of the gray, rainy days. I love all the color. Have a beautiful Wednesday.   

Bells, Quiet & Movies

          

I’m watching my cousin and her wife’s dog for a few days while they are on vacation. Watching their dog has allowed me to slow down for a few days. We take a number of walks a day, she doesn’t complain about my music and we like the same movies. Last night we watched Witness for the Prosecution and today we watched two James Bond movies-Goldeneye and Casino Royale. 

The farm was quiet today. I enjoyed taking photos. I was trying to get a picture of Bells lamb with the black chin but she is quick and independent. That’s Bells and her lamb in the first photo. The next photo is of number seven who is a ham. All the lambs gather in two spots while their moms eat and that is the third picture. The gathering, 

The sunset tonight and the moon through my bedroom window. I’m looking forward to some time off from my night job next week and am counting down the days. I’m hoping to clean do a little gardening and go to Assateague. I hope to read more too. And I really need to do my taxes. I’m a last minute filer. 

Have a beautiful Monday and thanks for all the interaction the last few days!

Mindfulness, Readjusting and Happy Easter

           

One week on and I’m readjusting to the changes in my life. I find writing helps me as well as poetry. I practice tai chi and mindfulness. I’m still hurting but not quite as much. I still have no answer from NYC in spite of reaching out to him. I have immersed myself in photography and reading. And am enjoying chatting with my friends on Facebook. I play trivia crack and have been playing with the same player for about two weeks. I like this person as the game we play goes on for a few days each time. So far he has won far more than I have but I hold my own. I suck at the entertainment category but kick butt with history , science, geography and art. 

With the exception of the daffodil picture I took all of these today. There are twenty seven lambs at the farm. The first lamb picture are two of the bottle babies this morning.  I loved how the sun came across them.  The next one is of Freckles and her twins. The twins are her first lambs and she seems to be a good mother. The next photo is a close up of number six. A clivia blooming in the greenhouse and finally Josephine with Jessica at sunset. 

I felt energized at the farm today rather than feeling overwhelmed. I believe all the lambs are born. They gather in large groups in the field and go looking for trouble. They run, jump and act silly. They make me laugh. I still love the elderly ewes more but the lambs are cute. 

In readjusting my thinking around my current life I find myself drawn to art and writing and am looking to hopefully donate my things I no longer need. It was a long gray and cold winter not as much snow as my brethren up north but long none the less. Usually the winter wheat will be higher than it is now but I’m glad to see it at three inches out of the ground. Ospreys are nesting, trees are budding and flowers are starting to open. I’m looking forward to some time off in a week or so. 

I wanted to thank everyone for their kind words and thoughts to my previous post. It helped me a lot. 

Have a happy Easter!

  

 

Overwhelmed but Hopeful

         

Lambs, lambs and more lambs! I will be glad when the last ones are born this year. My boss makes it look so easy but at this time of year caring for the sheep exhausts me. I doubt myself when lambing comes, worried I’ll do something wrong or miss something. So far I’ve done well with help from my bosses and my friend Jenn. I had to call my boss Saturday night as a ewe was showing signs of birthing soon. This ewe usually gives birth to triplets and my boss said to call her if I thought she was lambing. I corralled the ewe into a lambing stall, called my boss and then set about feeding the rest of the herd, then cared for the chickens and horses. When I got back to the sheep barn my boss had arrived. While we waited for the ewe to give birth we chatted and she was again teaching me about ewe and lamb care. She caught and held a ewe who doesn’t like to let her lamb nurse. She caught the ewe very quietly and stealthy like a sheep herding dog. I found it fascinating watching her move  among the herd and just by shifting her weight from leg to leg corner the ewe without a fuss. I had to leave to care for some dogs at another job. My boss called me later to tell me the ewe gave birth to triplets but only two survived. 

I have found myself in a place at the moment like an etch a sketch being wiped clean. Two months ago I had it all and so effortlessly it seemed. I know life is constantly changing but I’m struggling to adjust to changes at my nighttime job, the demands of some of my pet and house sitting jobs and my relationships. People have a picture of pet and house sitting as being an easy, money mashing vehture where I sit and eat bon bons while watching pets. I stay at some amazing homes and properties but it comes with responsibilities especially after this past winter. One home had pipes break, another had a furnace die, I had to shovel my way to many places and spun my car twice for the first time in years this winter. Some pets are not thrilled with the fact I stay as it means their owners are gone. Some animals love to see me. Some pets get up far earlier than I’m used to and I go to bed later than they are accustomed to. Sometimes they refuse to eat or destroy things that they normally leave alone. On the flip side owners are always relieved when they see their pets reactions to me. Some get so excited to see me and some know the sound of my car and come running to the door. I care for every pet and home as if they were my own. I love my pet sitting but sometimes I wonder why I’m working seven days a week, why people get upset when I take a week off. One week off out of fifty two isn’t bad. Sometimes I wish I could sleep in, not have to work seventeen hour days and not have to be on the road in all weather but I know I cannot do a nine to five job. That would be the death of me.

On the personal front I find silence difficult to handle. My ex husband would give me the silent treatment or hang up the phone if we argued. We were together for three years and married for forty eight days when he came home saying I don’t love you I never loved you get out. The home was in his name. One of my sisters who I was close to for years has gone silent for the past two years. She used to text and talk but now it is much less frequent, another sister has not spoken to the family in years. Now I’m struggling with NYC ‘s silence. He had told me on our last conversation how happy I make him, how he missed talking to me and is looking forward to a visit but I have not heard from him in a week. It is killing me. I’ve called and texted. I’m still hoping to hear from him. I’m hoping he is ok and wasn’t mugged, hurt or sick.  I miss him a lot. Maybe his phone dropped into the Hudson River. Sometimes I just think relationships aren’t meant for me. I wish too that just once that someone would ask me if I’m ok. I always listen to everyone’s issues and problems and I think people forget I need someone to talk to  also.  Everyone gets used to me calling, texting and listening that when I don’t no one thinks to check on me. 

I’m hoping spring brings me some peace and happiness. I am loving the osprey arriving and want to ask them what their winter home is like. I love the lambs and spring peepers. And the night sky has been amazing. I can’t wait for warmer weather.

Sunday Lambs, Jenn & The Night Sky

       

It was one of those mornings at the farm where life and death inhabit the same space. When I drove up to the farm with Jenn and saw my two bosses trucks at the sheep barn I knew there was trouble. We walked in and the lambing stalls were filled while my boss was in one of them giving the mother some shots. She had given birth to twins but one did not survive. Mom was exhausted and we were all worried about her recovering. (She is doing much better as I am writing this). In another lambing stall one of the ewes had given birth to a deformed lamb who was put down. In the meantime another ewe had given birth to triplets. As my two bosses worked with the new moms, I let the rest of the herd outside and Jenn and I headed out to care for the horses, chickens, elderly ewes and yearling lambs. One of the elderly ewes loves Jenn and always seeks here out for attention. Life and death are a normal part of farm life and our life. I honestly have to say I did not feel anything over the deaths of the lambs as I long ago accepted life and death on the farm. It may sound cold and callous but it is life. I was more concerned over the ewe who was having trouble recovering. So as of right now there are seventeen lambs with eight ewes still left to lamb. I hope to get a few photos tonight. The last two days have been so busy I have not had a chance to take any photos. The ones below I took last week.


I am happy to report that when Jenn and I arrived at the farm tonight we found a ewe had given birth maybe a minute or two before we arrived. Both lambs were still wet and the one had not yet stood for the first time. I scooped them up and brought them into the lambing stall. Jenn cleaned them off with a towel while I fed the herd and got everyone else settled for the night. By the time I was finished feeding the herd the second newborn was standing. It was a nice way to end the day that started out with six lambs being born and four surviving. By the end of the day we had six live lambs with the addition of the two newborns. If my memory serves me right we are up to twenty six lambs.

Jenn took the picture of me with Bells lamb which I’ve included in both color and black and white. I’ve always loved Bells and am glad she came out of a tough birthing this morning well with a sweet lamb complete with a black chin. The second picture is of Jenn with one of the newborns tonight. I could not have done this weekend without her help. She has been around animals almost her whole life and works at a local vets office. But not many friends would consider helping me bottle feed lambs, round up the herd after slogging through shin high stinky mud, picking up newborn lambs with blood and placenta still on them, picking up afterbirth and making sure everyone is safe and sound. All of this and she helps feed the chickens, horses and elderly sheep- one of which loves Jenn. The ewe who Jenn named Josephine comes up to her for cheek and ear scratches and just hangs out with Jenn. It is really cool to see.

To top off the night the stars, planets and moon were out in stunning glory. The moon and venus is what I have taken a picture of. A meteor streaked across the sky and burned out in a beautiful show. It was a great way to end what started out as a tough morning.

Lambs, Spring & Lambs

             

Spring is arriving slowly but surely. Crocuses are starting to bloom, Canada geese are leaving for northern grounds while osprey arrive from their southern haunts and of course lambs are being born at the farm. So far there are fourteen lambs born. Only two are bottle babies whose mom is not making enough milk. 

I sometimes find it overwhelming caring for the ewes and lambs as I am not sure of myself and my abilities to care for them during birth and the day after. I turned all the ewes avid lambs outside today and they loved it. The lambs were troopers slogging through the mud puddle at the barn door. They needed a little encouragement to come back inside tonight. Jenn who helps me pet sit every so often walked all the way across the pasture and rounded everyone up very quietly while I manned the gate and corn. Jenn set about giving the bottle babies their bottle while I tried to round up one of the ewes who will not always let her lamb drink milk. She was quick and  agile in avoiding me. We wore each other out before I was able to pen her with Jenn’s help. 

Once all the lambs are born the care of everyone gets easier. I am used to working with horses and sheep are very different to care for. I do find being quiet around both of them does help a lot. 

The dog I’ve pictured here is Nigel. He is one cool dog that I care for. He keeps an eye on me when I watch him and is always nearby.

I am looking forward to more of spring with the flowers and trees blooming and warmer weather. I’m looking forward to time off from my night next month. I’m hoping to spend time with NYC. And finish my spring cleaning. But in the meantime I’m enjoying listening to the spring peeper frogs at night. Tonight at the farm it was a treat to hear swans fly overhead. 

I hope you are enjoying the first day of spring. What do you look forward to every spring?

Sunsets, Nerd Love & Thoughts



After all the snow, rain and gray skies I was excited to see the sunsets and their colors calling me to step outside my office in the warehouse. The weather has warmed up and the spring peeper frogs are calling. The frogs were so loud last night I could hear them from inside my office with the door closed.

I was not successful in doing my spring cleaning during the winter this year so I’m hoping to get a jump on it by the end of this month. I always have grand plans but find it hard to give up books and art. I have managed to update my wardrobe. I hate clothes shopping but have found some great buys on eBay. See once I find clothes that fit I hunt down more of the same brand.

I have to sit down this weekend and write some letters to friends who do not email or text. Yes I know I can call them but I am very quite akward on the phone unless it’s my mom who I am talking to. I am even akward when talking on the phone with NYC. Nerd love at it’s best. We text a lot and say a lot when we text but we do try to talk on the phone at least once a week. I love that we agree we suck at talking on the phone with each other.

This weekend there should be more lambs at the farm. I think only one or two are due to lamb on my watch this weekend. Next weekend I think five are due to lamb! Yikes. I find people’s disconnect with how food is raised be it animal or plant quite interesting and a little sad. The lambs I care for are raised for meat. They are cute as can be but I know most will be gone by the end of the year. They are given the bst care during their lives. People often romantantisize farm life they forget how weather affects animals and plants, freak accidents can occur, sometimes life and death hang in the balance but for the most part life ticks along everyday without much drama.

The last photo is of my buddy Milton. I just love this shot. I lay down on the floor to take the picture. 

Have a great weekend!

Finding Confidence & Lambs



In the past week on Maryland’s Eastern Shore we have had two snow storms, an ice storm, frigid temps but today may be the light at the end of the tunnel. Today it was in the forties and tomorrow in the fifties with temps approaching sixties by next weekend. This morning as I drove to the farm I was treated to one of my favorite sights hoar frost. I love it and stopped a few times to just look at it.  I knew it would be gone in a few hours and I probably won’t see it again until next winter. 

Last night as I was talking with NYC I was sharing my insecurities and fears over the arrival of lambing season at the farm. I know horses much more than sheep. I told NYC the first of the lambs aren’t due until Monday but with my luck some would be born this weekend. Though he doesn’t know much about farm animals I felt better after talking with him. Sure enough when I arrived at the farm I found the first lamb resting next to his mom. She was pretty mellow. The rest of the ewes were jockeying for position to be fed first. I shooed the ewes out of the barn and closed the gates to move the lamb and ewe to the lambing stalls. At first the ewe would not follow me and her lamb that I was now holding. I thought maybe I shooed his mother out as the ewe kept running away to try to join the herd outside. The lamb I was holding didn’t help by being silent. Usually they make noise and mom cones running. I put the lamb in the stall and he finally made a sound and her came mom! I gave him some vitamins and iodined his navel then fed mom. I called my boss and the head animal caretaker. The caretaker came out to the farm to check on the ewe and lamb as it was the ewes first lamb and I had not seen the lamb drink any milk from his mom. He finally drank when the caretaker arrived. The picture with the orange glow I took tonight and both were looking very alert and well. 

Tonight after feeding everyone I tried taking a photo of Agnes the ewe with a brownish face when bells photobombed her. It made me laugh.

Tonight’s sunset was beautiful and I was standing on the second board of a four board fence line. I love my sunsets. Was able to see Venus, Mars and Jupiter come out. 

I love when the lambs arrive but have to admit I still love caring for the elderly ewes much more. 

I treated myself to a trip to the used bookstore in the next town this morning. It was packed today but I made my way through and found two books. One book is the letters of Winston Churchill and his wife and the second book is on the weather and natural disasters. The owner of the store surprised saying it was good to see me. He can be quite quirky and a little aloof. It was kind of nice to be acknowledged.

Have any of you checked out the planets in the night sky? It is worth the look. I often wonder what the sky looked like millions of years ago as the stars were closer together. It must have been something to see. Have a beautiful weekend. And thanks for stopping by!

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