Unpacking & Plans


I have been trying hard to finish unpacking the last of the odds and ends from the move but life as always gets in the way. Mike is out today helping his brother at his brother’s new home. I cleaned the kitchen and two of the three bathrooms. I figured out the one bookshelf I was stuck on did not have the right books in it and moved those books to the back bedroom. Crazy thinking I know but it now feels better. I just have one bedroom left and about eight boxes of things to donate including two boxes of clothes. I promised Mike I would have everything unpacked, donated and fixed up by the time his sisters visit mid June. 

Mike has been busy fixing up the yard and creating gardens. I hate weeding so I am always happy to do container gardening while Mike has been steady clearing grass from various places in front of the house. 

It has been a pleasant adjustment making plans with Mike. I was so used to making all decisions myself of course living alone you have to do that. Mike is a dreamer while I am more reserved. He has big plans for the home and yard. We have been steady chipping away at our wedding plans. I want everything paid for well in advance of the wedding. I am determined we will not carry any debt for the wedding nor go into debt for the wedding. 

I will finish up this disjointed piece and head back to unpacking. I hope you have a great weekend. Thanks to everyone who reads and follows my blog.

Front Porches


When I first started dating Mike I was excited to see he had a front porch on his home. I love to sit on the porch and watch the birds, the clouds, the stars and just let time pass by. Mike put a lot of thought into the building of his home and property but due to the some of the stresses of his prior life in the military, Mike was uncomfortable sitting on the porch much. Originally he had one hanging plant in the porch with wind chimes and some candles. We would sit in the rocking chairs at first only a few minutes. In the past year I have introduced Mike to the wonders of the night sky and he has been teaching me the different bird calls to recognize and I have now seen birds I never saw before-a rose breasted grosbeak, a blue grosbeak, towhee and others. A year later we have purchased a love seat for the porch and have filled the porch with plants. Mike loves to be out there now and sends me texts and pictures of the different animals he sees in the yard while I am at work. It still amazes me what love can do when you first learn to love yourself first. It opened me up to trusting enough and being comfortable being a couple again.

Irises This Week

Tonight A Photo Essay

Phone Calls & Being Myself

 I did something this week that most people take for granted. I am such an introvert that talking in the phone is difficult for me. I avoid it in my personal life at all costs. I can talk on the phone for ups and trouble shoot problems but for my pet sitting I return all calls as I freeze when people call me. God bless my friends who for the most part know I avoid the phone. Funny thing for a forty six year old woman to be fearful of. I would much rather stand in front of a crowd and make a speech or give a talk than talk on the phone personally. I find I am awkward and self conscious. Today I spoke with a friend on the phone who had offered to talk with me over my wedding plans and making sure Mike and I craft a wedding that is ours not what other people want or project on us. It was very helpful and eye opening. I feel better than ever to make sure the wedding Mike and I have is special to us. We are bucking tradition in a number of ways-no cake, no registry we are suggesting people make donations to charity if they feel the need to gift. I find myself more and more grateful to people who remind me to be true to myself and true to the path I chose especially my path with Mike. So if you ever try to call me please don’t give up on me and understand I am making small steps forward in my phone comfort. God bless Mike for hanging in there with me when we were getting to know each other and I said I don’t talk on the phone but will text email or have face to face conversations. I find now I can call and talk to him no problems but our calls are short three minutes or less.

Irises

Perceptions 



Perceptions is a concept I have had on my mind for a while but what really brought it front and center for me this week was a coworker who gleefully told me he had spoken with my ex husband recently. I replied ok and he proceeded to tell me what my ex looks like now, his home and children. I remarked to a few of my friends after how i must be difficult to engage in conversation as this person thought the way to get me to talk was to bring up my ex. 
It got me to thinking. My boss at the farm said he thought nothing bothered me until I found a rat in a water bucket. I told him I can handle most anything but rats and snakes. At UPS I am a supervisor and am shocked when I learn some people are intimidated by me as I see myself as professional, kind and caring. My mother always told me growing up I tried to blend in with the wallpaper. 

There are so many sides of me with a core me. I hid my light for years behind the cloud and fog of depression but through therapy, writing, photography and taking time to heal and realize who I believe myself to be and am I feel like I am a shining star among other stars in the universe. 

I see myself as a quiet creative person who is not afraid to speak my mind, listens actively to others, makes friends slowly but when I make a friend it is usually for life. I like to be a goofball but tend to present myself as a serious person. 

Perception is an interesting concept and something I enjoy playing with in photography.

Center of Attention 

 Captain and I   
Gracie in the sun

   

Mike

 
I was the center of attention this morning which is not a place I am comfortable. Mike and I went looking for engagement rings something he was very insistent on giving me. He is very different from any man I dated before. We arrived at the jeweler before they were very busy so we had lots of personal attention. We looked at many rings and I wanted Mike to be part of the decision on the ring besides the cost. I wanted him to like it as much as I did. The women at the store asked if I cooked a big breakfast for Mike prior to shopping and they seemed shocked he cooked breakfast. We looked at a number of rings and at a couple of stores but ended up back at the first store. As Mike was paying for the ring he remarked he thought he was more excited for the ring than me. I realized with some dismay I had shut down as a defense mechanism to the attention. I loved the ring and love Mike very much. As we drove home I explained why I shut down and he understood completely. I hope I handle our wedding day better. Sometimes I wonder if I am fearful of showing excitement over my happiness after suffering with bipolar depression and poor relationships in my past. Mike always says how good I am for him but I really think I got the better end of the deal. He brings out much in me and allows me to be me without judgement.

Assateague Islands & Happiness

   
    
   
I went to Assateague Island with Mike in March. We only saw the two horses pictured in the first photo. It was cold and windy and I imagine the rest of the herd was farther down the island. Mike had never been to Assateague and enjoyed it. 

As you can tell from the photos lambing season was in full swing. It has wound down now but still busy with feeding all the ewes. The lambs have learned to eat some of the corn and hay. They do well with the hay. They are becoming independent and venture far from mom but still run towards her if they feel hungry or frightened. I get a kick out of them. We had thirty one live lambs and two still borns this year. I have learned more about sheep care this year. Especially caring for lambs that need a little extra support either bottle feeding, giving extra vitamins or making sure all is good. There are four bottle babies. Mike is amazed how strong they are and demanding for the milk. 

Well I certainly never thought it would happen again in my life but Mike and I are planning a wedding for May of 2017. We are looking at laid back and casual. I have felt a sense of coming home with Mike-a comfort level I have not felt before. We have melded our lives together rather effortlessly. After living alone for so long I have found the biggest adjustment for me has been making decisions with another. I’m used to making my own and full steam ahead. Now there are discussions. Mike has been very gracious about me moving into his home which he now refers to it as our home. He has hung most of the artwork I brought and has not said a word about my many books. He is involved in the planning of our wedding something my first husband wanted no part of. I find Mike to be what I have been looking for but I had to spell it out to myself first so I would not settle for anything less. It took me about seven months to hammer out and nail down what type of person I wanted to share my life with. I’m ever so grateful he loves nature and animals as much as I do. 

I hope your spring is going well and hopefully free of snow and cold. 

Sunsets & Playtime 

Sunsets, a drinking cat and playtime    
    
    
    
   

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