13 Aug 2014
Tags: bipolar, change, depression, doctor, hope, suicide
I am sharing this in hopes it may help someone, somewhere.
I do not usually post about my personal emotional life but after Robin Williams death yesterday I felt compelled to share a little. I have had depression and bipolar depression since I was ten years old. With medication and therapy I was usually able to keep it in check. Had many dark spots along the way but managed to find my way out. Three years ago was the worst. I was in such a bad place, didn’t know where to turn, called my doctor and made an appointment.. I was the last appointment on a Friday afternoon. We talked for more than an hour, he changed my meds and gave me phone numbers if I ever needed them. It was a very dark year and three times I was at the point of suicide. My doctor told me I needed to make life changes and I did. It was a long journey out and there are only about three people who knew how precarious my situation was but three years on and lifestyle changes I am a very different person. I am very happy and at peace. I am well aware the depression may reoccur however I finally feel as if I know when it is coming and how to head it off at the pass. I never judge anyone who has tried to commit suicide or has done it as I was at that dark door myself. Currently my life is so much better and I credit my doctor with saving my life.
02 Aug 2014
Tags: Great Chesapeake Balloon Festival
Despite the rain earlier in the day and now there was a brief period in which no rain fell. There was an abbreviated balloon festival tonight. Only three balloons were set up when we got there. One packed up but these two gave tethered rides. There was a long line for the balloon in the first picture. Lots of families with shall children went up about one hundred feet, hung there and then descended. Apparently rain is not good for the balloons. There were supposed to be fifteen balloons with eight to lift off and the other seven remaining for the glow. It was good to see the three balloons and to be so close to them. You could hear the people speaking in the balloons, the flame and it was just wonderful. I’m glad my friend Jenn always wants to go with me. It was really beautiful.
Half the pictures were taken by me and half by Jenn.
01 Aug 2014
Tags: balloon festival, flirting, home, muzzle, pet sitting, work
It was once again fantastic to be back home. I really enjoyed my pet sitting jobs the last few weeks. The picture of the horse’s muzzle is from one of the jobs. She was an independent soul but a bit of a mush too. I love to care for horses. This was a nice set up with the house and barn on the same property. The lamb in the last picture was the only one brave enough to come up while I was filling the trough. I have not had much interaction with the lambs and ewes since about May. Funny how I helped some of them right after their birth and fed the ewes twice a day. I could stand at the barn door and yell come on and they run to me. Now they see me differently and not really sure what I’m about. The elderly ewes on the other hand love to see me, make the trek to see me when I arrive and call to me when I enter the field.
My nighttime job has been very busy. This week I filled in for a coworker. It has been an interesting week. I was in so much pain after Monday and felt so old. Thankfully things got better Tuesday and the rest of the week. I enjoyed interacting with workers I don’t always get a chance to talk with and learned a lot working with the many different personalities. One employee took a shine to me. I almost burst out laughing when he flirted with me. It had been so long since someone flirted with me. That and being one of the few woman at work I know I’m not what most of the men find attractive. To them I’m just one of the guys which is good and bad. Sometimes they forget I am a woman and don’t need to hear all of their smack or what scantily clad woman they encountered in their day. Anyhow it was nice to have someone notice me and flirt. I was pretty flustered.
I am looking forward to a day off tomorrow to get my car worked on, possibly do a local tour and attend a balloon festival. I can’t wait. Hopefully the storm holds off.
Many thanks for stopping by. I enjoy everyone who likes, comments and reads my blog.
20 Jul 2014
Tags: Chesapeake Balloon Festival, Easton, flowers, pet sitting, Plein Air Festival
Today is the second to last day of Easton’s Plein Air Festival. I’ve enjoyed watching the painters around the town and county the past week. Watching where they set up, trying to guess what they are painting and to see if we see the same image. As I drove into a housing development where I pet sit a number of dogs I found five painters set up along the fence line which encloses a herd of Belted Galloway cows. I wanted to tell them everyone paints the cows. Mind you the cows are striking. So imagine my delight when I drove to my dog walking job and found the painter in the first picture set up by the pond painting the water lilies, dragonflies and rock formation. It is one of my favorite spots in the housing development. He waved at me across the pond. The festival encourages interaction with the artists and I’ve spoken with artists in the past, I just did not want to interrupt his painting. This is the first year I was not able to attend any function associated with the festival.
The rest of the photos are from the farm this morning. Flash the horse came over to check out the water trough I was filling. I was shocked to see the apples on the tree already. The sunflower field is almost past bloom. The bees are not buzzing about as much but now the deer and birds are starting to enjoy the seeds. And as always I love the flowers.
Pet sitting has been busy and at times challenging. I find it to be most fitting with my life. I love horse farms first and foremost but a very close second is pet sitting. I knew sitting in school for all the years I did that the nine to five life was not for me. I think it is why I enjoy the night shift at my part time job. I cannot fit into what most of the world finds normal. Nine to five. Ugh I’d go nuts.
I am looking forward the Chesapeake Balloon Festival August 1 and 2. I’m hoping to get great pictures again this year. I’d highly recommend it if you are in town.
I never thought when I started this blog that I would make so many friends. People who I have never met in person have become to me close friends and I really love that aspect. It brightens my day when I get comments on the blog or people email me. It is a world wide connection I never considered. Many thanks to everyone! Have a beautiful Sunday!
12 Jul 2014
Tags: black eyed susans, corn, interspecies. communication, Storms, sunflowers
I am not sure which I enjoy more walking into a field of corn or a field of sunflowers. I love doing both. I enjoy watching the corn grow and the fog that settles over the corn crops some evenings. It fascinates me. The sunflowers just make me smile every time. Just as being home makes me smile.
I am home again after two weeks away pet sitting. The best part about pet sitting this time were the very dark skies where I was. I saw so many more stars than I normally do. One of my life goals is to trek to a certified dark area to look at the night sky. Sad we have to certify areas as dark. Not sure if the human race is afraid of the dark and needs light all the time. I think the closest one to me is in Pennsylvania.
I love the photo of Flash and Josephine. I was scratching Josephine ears (she is the sheep) and Flash the horse came up to check us out. He started nuzzling her head. They stayed that way for a few moments. It made me feel part of something bigger than myself-three species communicating.
I have been photographing mostly flowers lately. I am drawn to their color. The magnolias are almost finished blooming as are the day lilies. I do love sunflowers. When I stepped into the sunflower field it was humming with all the bees buzzing around.
We did not get much rain from Hurricane Arthur but did get glorious cool winds for a day. We were far enough away from the storm so that the winds were not damaging. In contrast we have gotten whopping thunderstorms that have caused damage around the towns close to me. The lightning has been spectacular. The thunder ranges from rolling to ear splitting.
I hope you all have been well and safe from the weather affecting the many areas of the country and world. As always many thanks for stopping by.
Just curious if any of you have witnessed inter species communication. Cheers!
29 Jun 2014
Tags: bees, dragonflies, happiness, peace, sheep, sunflowers
What a beautiful two days we have had weather wise in my area. I have enjoyed photographing bees and dragonflies as well as flowers. I think my photos reflect my joy and happiness.
I get into a zone while focusing on photography. I almost feel like I am at one with the universe much the same feeling I get while stargazing or communicating with animals. Today I was drawn to the gardens at the many places I pet sit. I love the sunflower. When I photographed it tonight I found ten tiny bees on the seeds. I photographed many dragonflies today too. I know in some cultures dragonflies represent spirits of loved one. I had about fifty dragonflies swirling around me at one point.
As you know I love the elderly sheep. Tonight three came up to me to get their ears, chins and backs scratched. I just feel love pouring out of these ladies. I still miss the old black sheep who died earlier this year. She was a talker.
I feel a peace in my life unlike any I have ever felt before. My life is not without ups and downs or struggles but I took it to heart a few years ago when the doctor told me I had to make lifestyle changes or else I would not survive. One of the biggest things I did was adjust my attitude and thinking, begin to take up meditation and find gratitude in every day as well as allow myself to be creative. I wonder if that is one of the traits that allow people to share the happiest parts of their lives with me as well as the most painful. My mother always says I have a bartender’s ear or should have been a therapist.
I hope you find joy and happiness in your life. Let your creativity shine. It is good for the soul.
23 Jun 2014
Tags: Blackwater Wildlife Refuge, family, friends, Quaker Meetinghouse, St Michaels, Trappe
Over the last two weekends I have connected with friends and family. Last weekend I met my cousin Laura and her wife Christina in St. Michaels, the next town over from me. I was unable to attend their wedding due to work so it was my first time meeting Christina. She is a wonderful person and I am so happy that she makes Laura so happy and vise versa. We ate the Crab Claw and had ice cream at Justine’s. I look forward to spending more time with them in the future.
This past weekend I met up with my friends Aleq and Jake. We went to lunch to start are day and were amused that the hostess was determined to sit Aleq next to me despite Jake and Aleq being a couple. We arranged ourselves so that I was on one side of the table and they were on the other. We had a great lunch and headed to the Unicorn Bookstore in Trappe. I found two books and may have to go back get a book on Norman Rockwell. Aleq found a book on history and Jake was delighted to find two books on lighthouses of the mid-Atlantic. We spent about forty five minutes in the store and then headed to the Blackwater Wildlife Refuge. It was a perfect time to go as it was cloudy, cool with showers. We saw so many Great Blue Herons, Great Egrets, bald eagles, ospreys, red winged black birds and red headed woodpeckers. We were even lucky enough to see the rare Delmarva Fox Squirrel. And the best part was no mosquitoes. After the refuge we headed to Easton and Jake asked if we could stop at the Quaker Meetinghouse. I’ve enclosed a picture of the meetinghouse, the cemetery around the meetinghouse and a very tall tree on the grounds. I got into an interesting discussion about reincarnation with Aleq while walking the grounds. It is a beautiful place to think and just be.
Tonight I visited my mom and stepdad for dinner and to give my stepdad his Father’s Day gift as they were out of town on Father’s Day. We walked around their gardens after dinner and mom and I have planned on attending two art shows in DC. I was able to get two pictures of Abby my stepdads cat. I will post a picture of her later. She has aged since she stayed with me but is still spry and energetic but she is old lady cat at 17 or 18. I missed caring for her this winter.
In my personal life I am enjoying a relationship with a man younger than myself. I love his company and after one brief discussion about our age difference we agreed it was not an issue though I had thought it might be. I get tired of the labels people have when an woman dates a younger man. I enjoy his intelligence and he mine. He has never said anything about all my books and reading a problem I have had with others and we can discuss astrophysics. I love it. We are taking everything a day at a time and will see where it goes. He doesn’t mind my work schedule nor I his. And I found out he used to own horses. He walked in to my place while I was watching dressage. He sat down and watched it with while asking questions. What a blessing that was and I hope this goes somewhere but if it does not I have enjoyed the journey.
I hope you are enjoying your journey, be true to yourself and have fun.
20 Jun 2014
Tags: bee, Cigar, Country Life Farm, foals, Harford County, magnolias, mares, Maryland Horse Magazine, sheep
I made a commitment to myself a month ago to write at least one blog post a week. Seeing how my last post was dated May 26 I am not doing very well on my writing. I took a week off from my nighttime job in the beginning of June. I found myself sleeping quite a bit, enjoying my 45th birthday and fulfilling a childhood dream. I was able to visit Country Life Farm here in Maryland. It is the oldest thoroughbred breeding farm in the state. I had planned a day trip to visit some friends in Harford County and discovered the farm was in the same town. Thinking of my father as I emailed the farm the night before my trip I was astonished that they answered first thing in the morning to say yes I could visit that day. I thought they would say no as it was last minute, not all farms want visitors and they do not know me. My dad would have been proud-he taught me to ask and see what happens. A few years back I never would have contacted the farm for a tour. My friend thankfully was agreeable to the farm visit-her daughter owns horses. We arrived at the farm a few minutes early and had a wonderful conversation with the farm secretary. She hooked us up with one of the managers who invited is to tag along as they were in the process of bringing in the mares and foals out of the midday heat. It was a hilly farm and the mares foals were very laid back, especially with the foals not being much older than a month to two months. My friend stayed in the mare and foal barn while I followed the farm workers back to the pasture to watch them bring in the final set of horses. After everyone was in out of the heat we headed on a wider tour of the farm. It included the breeding shed, foaling stalls – one of which the champion Cigar was foaled in and the stallion barn. The stallions like the mares and foals were fairly laid back. One stud was a little more active but for the most part they were happy to eat their hay. As I said this was fulfilling a dream of mine, I had read both of Josh Pons’ books, followed the farm growing up reading the Maryland Horse Magazine and had always wanted to visit. Everyone on the farm could not have been more gracious and kind. I thanked them profusely when we were getting ready to leave. They thanked me just as much for calling ahead and not just showing up at the farm unannounced. I could not imagine doing that and was told many people show up at the office and want a tour. I was in seventh heaven after the visit.
I have been working hard on my friendships and relationships and realized in some of my friendships I am tired of the way some of them were going and may need to move on. It gets tiring always being the one to call, text and keep in contact with the other when very little attempt is made by the other. My cousin Laura called me over this past weekend to meet in St Michaels. I was unable to attend her wedding and really wanted to meet her wife. We had a fabulous visit and I was glad we could meet.
I have been taking hundreds of photos of magnolia flowers, sheep and my crown jewel is catching a bee in flight. I love photographing the sheep. They are for the most part used to my being in their face with my camera. Even the chickens are becoming tolerant of me shoving my camera in their faces up close and personal.
I hope to continue my work on becoming debt free, developing better relationships and finding more time to meditate. I find meditation has been helping me more and more.
I hope you have a great Friday. Many thanks for stopping by. I’d love to hear of anything you may be working on in your life if you wish to share. I really enjoy hearing from everyone.
Blessings and Namaste
26 May 2014
Tags: changes, fear, frederick douglass, history, lambs, sheep, tuckahoe ruver
Over the past two weekends my job caring for the sheep has shifted from the consuming care of the ewes and lambs to the care of the elderly sheep. I do love caring for the old ladies. The ones I have chosen to share are all ten years or older. They move slower and have a dignified grace about them. One or two of the old ladies come up for ear scratches or a little tlc. I do enjoy that time and find my soul slowing down and taking everything in. It is a quiet exchange we have. I wonder if they look forward to it as much as I do. A lot of people adore the lambs and their innocent cuteness but for me I love the wisdom and grace of the elderly sheep.
My life is beginning to take another direction as I may have to move due to the property being for sale. I have been talking to and asking most everyone I know if they know of any rentals. I do not wish to live in an apartment building with people on either side. I’ve done that before and as much as I liked it in some places it was a nightmare at others. I have little fear over the move as I usually tend to land on my feet but every so often I can feel the panic rising in me and have to fight to not let it takeover. So far I’ve been successful in keeping my fears away. As I look around my apartment I realize I need to purchase a couple more bookcases if I move as now I have many neat piles of books that will not fit into my current bookcases. Books and knowledge are my addictions. If I do move I hope to find a place with a kitchen larger than the last two I’ve had. I love to cook but have been limited in my last two places.
The last two pictures I took on my travels today between pet sitting jobs. It was a beautiful day and I loved every minute. The picture of the creek is a tributary of the Tuckahoe River. It us not far from where Frederick Douglass was born. As I drive through the area at night I often think about the Underground Railroad. It is so dark at night without the moon and much of the Tuckahoe still looks as it did many years ago. Over the years I have worked at different estates on the shore whose history goes back a couple hundred years. As I work and walk over the grounds I wonder about the history, people and the land. What secrets does it hold and how much we have to learn from all of it.
I hope you have a good Sunday without any fears. A Sunday of peace and the pursuit of knowledge. Blessings to everyone.
24 May 2014
Tags: changes, frog, iris, mindfulness, skink, sunset
My Friday in photos. I look forward to writing this weekend. Like Mary Poppins said when the wind changes things will be different. I’m paraphrasing but there are many changes going on in my life and so far I’m handling them much better than I thought I would. I have been practicing mindfulness, Tai Chi and readjusting my thinking. I find it very interesting how much I have changed in the past ten years.
Have a beautiful Friday. Blessings on your weekend and check out tonight’s meteor shower. It’s a brand new one. Namaste.